How to Make a Ghetto Latté

Look, I can't afford a vanilla non fat extra foam tall... whatever latté every day. Thus I have come up with the "ghetto latté" to have the caffeine necessities as well as feel chic.

Step 1: Purchase a tall/grande drip. If you are especially low on cash find an empty cup in a trash somewhere and take home for the next day. Please rinse it first, then fill with your own home brew.

Step 2: Add your flavors. A good sprinkling of cinnamon and half-and-half is like a cinnamon latté. Vanilla is vanilla latté. Whiskey makes it an Irish latté. Better yet, take it home and put whiskey, sugar and a splash of vanilla syrup. That will wake you up!

Step 3: Drink. And carry it around looking pretentious. If someone asks you what you have in your hand say, "It's a vanilla non fat extra foam grande latté"

Not like anyone can see inside the cup anyway.

Southern Dinner.. Done Light!

We all love Southern dinners, southern food. The problem is our middles usually are the results from these such events.

Last night I decided to make a "healthy Southern dinner" and reduce the calories by 2/3.

My Menu for the evening:
"Fried" chicken (175 calories per serving)
Mashed "potatoes"(78 calories per serving)
Green beans (15 calories per serving)
Green Spinach Salad with Tomatoes and Vinaigrette (25 calories per serving)
Gallette de Pommes : French Apple Pastry (200 calories per serving)


Grand Total: 493 calories

My mom decided to compete and do a fattier version and see if anyone could taste the difference and which they preferred. Plus, southern food, as Paula Dean says, "Ain't good unless it got some fat in it!"

Her Menu:
Buttermilk Fried Chicken (480 calories per serving)
Buttermilk Biscuits (160 calories per serving)
Mashed Potatoes (200 calories per serving)
Chicken Gravy (75 calories per 2 tablespoon serving)
Corn on the Cob (78 calories per half ear of corn, with butter)
S'mores (140 calories per serving)

Grand Total of a Southern Feast: 1,133 calories

So. here are my recipes for each item... enough for 5 small stomachs or 3 big stomachs.

"Fried" chicken
1 whole cut up chicken (or two legs and two thighs)
2 cups corn flake cereal
1 cup bread crumbs
whatever seasonings you want, I chose: (onion powder, salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder and some cayenne pepper)
2 eggs
1/2 milk or buttermilk

Step 1: I peeled the skin off of the legs. This is a delicious part, but in order to create a crispier crust the skin has to go. Think of it as... creating chicken armor. A crunchy seasoned chicken armor and to do that you gotta get rid of the skin.

Step 2: Whisk eggs, buttermilk, salt and some pepper into the eggs for the dip.

Step 3: Take a large plastic bag fill with the crunchy stuff and seasonings. Close tightly and take a hammer to IT!!! No, kidding.. I just rolling pinned it out. Roll roll rolll... crunch crunch... it's great for aggression. Keep going until you're either not pissed any more or it's in fine grain pieces.

Step 4: Open bag.

Step 5: Dip two pieces of chicken into awesome egg dip, roll around and roll around. Place in bag. Shake shake shake. Then use hands to press in the crunchy mixture. Repeat. Repeat. Until it's completely covered and all chicken pieces are done.

Step 5 1/2: Place chickens on venilated cooking thing. Basically like a wire rack over a dripping pan, tie air will create that extra crunch the chicken desires.

The finished product looks like this. Stick in fridge until ready to bake.

Step 6: BAKING! Bake in oven @ 375 degrees Fahrenheit for  35-60 minutes, or until the thermomator states "165-170". Then blast the heat on the broiler for 5 more minutes for extra crunch.

The FINAL product. SO good. And a final sprinkling of salt makes it better.

Now... the sides..

Mashed "Potatoes"
This was an interesting recipe I researched and researched. The first time I heard about it was from a vegetarian friend of mine at an old job. He mentioned how the taste was amazingly similar to mashed potatoes. I tested.. I inquired, "What is this?" The consistency was a little runnier.. but sure enough same flavor.

He smiled, "cauliflower."

Now those of you tied to a low carb diet- this is amazing stuff. Try it once, just for tasting sake.

This is enough for 2 people...

you'll need:
1 bag frozen cauliflower
1-2 tablespoons cream cheese
heavy whipping cream
couple pats of butter
pepper
salt
immersion blender, or a strong hand and a masher
imaaagination...

Step 1: Cook cauliflower for 8-10 minutes in salted boiling water.

Step 2: Strain and dry thoroughly with paper towels, or for the eco friendly folks, a washable clean dish towel.

Step 3: Add rest of ingredients and immerse the shit out of it. Wrr wrrr.

Step 4: Place in microwave until time to serve.

 

That's it. It's like 1/3 of the calories, awesome flavor and takes 10 minutes. Fresh. bye bye boxed potatoes.


Finally.. the lovely, fatty and flavorful.. but yet.... not. Dessert!

Galette aux Pommes (apple tart)

Ingredients... are as follows...
2 apples. I used gala, they are sweeeet.
2 tablespoons apple pie mix (ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg)
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 package of Phyllo dough
1 stick of butter (yes. one stick.)
preheat oven to 400 degrees..

Step 1: Cut up apples (I leave the skin on) into 1/2" chunks and put into bowl minus stems and seeds.

Step 2: Mix into the apples all the other stuff minus phyllo dough and butter.

Step 3, "the hard part": Lay out the phyllo dough two sheets at a time. Do like this:
 Two sheets, brush with enough butter till it's wet, two sheets, repeat, two sheets, repeat... until you are done buttering it up.

Step 4: Drop all of apple mixture into the center and fold one corner in, then another... it'll be like a really rough looking octagon in the end.

Step 5: Place galette onto a bake sheet toss about a tablespoon of brown sugar over the top and the rest of the butter and into the oven for only 12-20 minutes... depending on when it looks sufficiently crunchy and browned. Like the photo below...

Great served with a low fat soy ice cream or even a home whipped cream. YUM!

The BEST Steak in the World

Last night mom and I decided we wanted steak. The best kind of steak, surprisingly, comes from the bargain bin at the grocery store. The steak marked down 40% is online marked down because it's next to expiration and on top of this has lost the added coloring luster. Store in the U.S. often add colorants to make the meat appear redder and "bloodier" but a brown steak is typical in France and has the best flavor due to aging.

SO!

The following is my personal recipe for the steak:

1 16 oz rib eye steak, aged 5-6 days (meaning you either buy it fresh and let it set in plastic for 5 days or buy it from the "bargain bin" at the store and it's ready to go!)
2-3 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
salt, pepper (be generous)
1/2 tablespoon cayenne pepper
3 slices smoked bacon
1 iron skillet (with grill marks if possible)

Then the sides, which I prepare at the same time:
2 medium baking potatoes
Butter
Condensed milk
Vegetable broth (1 cup worth)
2 sheets tin foil, appropriately sized with potatoes
2 1/2 tablespoons salt for each potato
Greens (for this recipe I used spinach and tomatoes)
Dressing (for this I used a balsamic spray)

Do the following 2 hours before cooking:

Step 1: Dry steak then add the seasonings on each side in the following order:
Salt
Pepper
Cayenne pepper (1/4 tablespoon)

Step 2: Place seasoned steak in plastic bag and put 1 1/2 tablespoons of the sauce on each side.

Step 3: Place bag of steak in refrigerator...

Next Steps..

Potatoes:

1. Rinse potatoes thoroughly and roll in the salt afterwards placing in the tin foil.



2. Place potatoes in oven at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for one hour.




Salad:
1. Take spinach out of bag and cut tomato into slices onto plate.

Cooking the Steak
1. Cook three slices of bacon in skillet (in photo I used 4, too many)

2. Remove bacon, cook steak in same skillet on high, 3 minutes, flip and turn, 3 minutes, flip and turn, 2 minutes flip and turn, 2 minutes flip and turn...

3. Remove tin foil from potatoes, place back in oven.

4. Place steak in oven on the broiler for 5 minutes, during this time massage potatoes, and cut down the center add one pat of butter and 2 tablespoons of the condensed milk, salt and pepper.

5. Add 1/2 cup vegetable broth to leftover remnants in the skillet, reduce for 5-10 minutes. Add more liquid if necessary.

5. Remove steak from oven, place on plate with potato and spray the vinaigrette on salad. Pour sauce on potatoes and steak.

I like to plate with roughly chopped green onions and homemade rosemary bread.. yum!!!

You'll see it's the most amazing steak. Ever.

SERVE WITH RED!

Bon Appetit!