How to Make a Ghetto Latté

Look, I can't afford a vanilla non fat extra foam tall... whatever latté every day. Thus I have come up with the "ghetto latté" to have the caffeine necessities as well as feel chic.

Step 1: Purchase a tall/grande drip. If you are especially low on cash find an empty cup in a trash somewhere and take home for the next day. Please rinse it first, then fill with your own home brew.

Step 2: Add your flavors. A good sprinkling of cinnamon and half-and-half is like a cinnamon latté. Vanilla is vanilla latté. Whiskey makes it an Irish latté. Better yet, take it home and put whiskey, sugar and a splash of vanilla syrup. That will wake you up!

Step 3: Drink. And carry it around looking pretentious. If someone asks you what you have in your hand say, "It's a vanilla non fat extra foam grande latté"

Not like anyone can see inside the cup anyway.

Breakfast.. American Style.. and Adventures on Campus part 1

Today I decided to go to breakfast with my mom and my dad as I had one hour to kill.

We pull through South East and make a quick turn right after the Burnside bridge into Johnny B's- one of my favorite little breakfast places.

The All-American breakfast place on the SE side of the river.


Yum.

 

Mom and Dad playing with the creamers...

 

It's great for passing the time after you ordered your food and your waiting for it to arrive.

My coffee on the table with the waters... needing..

Sustenance....

Coffee rushing through veins..

The view from my side of the café... some guy reading the paper- that's cool.

Waiting....

Waiting...

OH HOLY LORD!!! Bacon Swiss Omelette, side of pancakes.. and java... $6.50.. ohhh...

Yes. Please... and....

Er... not so much... Dad's on a "diet"... and.. oatmeal. I was appaled and explained all the rules he was breaking for coming to Johnny B.'s and ordering.. Oatmeal. At least he got the "works" on it... which was then followed by a chemistry lesson as to why the oatmeal's brown sugar was perfectly incorporated. NEVER ASK FOR THE EXPLANATION.

Then I split it and made a special plate with mom...

See. "Johnnycake", check. Omelette with processed swiss cheese product and BACON... (one day I will post my love affair with bacon), check. Crispy and delicately oiled hashbrowns- NO ketchup, check.

I made a culinary oopsie that actually turned in for the better. I threw a little salt on my pancake without thinking (I guess the third cup of coffee got to me) and it was actually really good. Like sausage and maple syrup kind of good.

Then it was gone. It was like a drunken night- as soon as it starts it's gone.

Allow me to explain how to eat in pure enjoyment with type of cuisine:

Enjoying an omelette breakfast:

Step 1: Look at the omelette. Is it tough? Squishy? When you poke your fork into it is it like pushing rubber? Is it springy?

Step 2: Sniff deeply, can you smell an aroma? Nutty? Cheesy and musky? Salty? Sweet?

Step 3: Bite enthusiastically into omelette, allowing it to move from front of palatte to back of palatte. Savor the first bite, it's opening the door. DO NOT ADD SALT OR PEPPER UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST BITE. Especially not ketchup- learning from my Frenchie- ketchup is simply high fructose corn syrup with the slightest hint of tomato and red dye.

Step 4: Bite into the hashbrowns. Alternate until all of omelette and hashbrown are gone, enjoying between each bite. Remember to allow this step to continue slowly and each time trying to envision all flavors, the bacon's crispy saltness melting aside the goopy pungent processed cheese. The taste of the egg mixing in the slightest.

Step 5: Eat pancake for dessert. Always. Typically in America it is common to mix all of it together, the salts the sweets... but when you separate them out and start salty the tastebuds get so much better prepared for the sweets. Maybe the saltyness opens up the buds or something- all I know is the saltier the starter the sweeter the sweets. Enjoy each bite- don't scarf.

Step 6: After eating, take a moment to relax before: 1. smoking, 2. drinking water or coffee or 3. rushing to bathroom. Really look back and think: I just ate an awesome omelette.

The carnage..

So. Breakfast was done... Then I decided after classes to take a walk around Portland and really get a feel for the scenery I missed when in Europe over the summer.. I found the following...

A pretty intense contrast between a re-made classical building and a new age condo building...

I found this striking. The statue looking on, the red lanterns lifted over the terrace and the new age building reflecting the sky.

No one else was looking around.. everyone had ear buds in their ears, cell phones attached in conversations or looking at their feet while walking.

The lanterns... looking up..

 

AHHH!!! CHEFF!!! PASTRY CHEFF!!! I love chef spotting. Sometimes they hang outside of their kitchens, smoking and looking mean.. but this one was a large chef carrying something pastry-y.

I love it because it has pictures of barefeet- now my question.. isn't it discriminatory to have feet with all 5 toes? What if you lost one, or you were unlucky and born with only 2? Why not just have shoe prints... and whose feet are actually THAT LITTLE?